It's not easy to find that someone, really.

2012.

2012-01-01T08:59:00.000-08:00

It must be my imagination that you are treating me cold, it must be.

I just realised that I had spent the last 365 days with you.

2011 was a happy year for me because you are always there for me, hopefully same goes to you too.

Hope 2012 will be another year full of joy for us.

I love you.

Happy New Year, everyone.

Stupid in Love

2011-12-30T02:17:00.000-08:00

I am angry plus upset plus disappointed plus whatever feelings I am having now.

I feel like you are treating me like a joke now.

Knowing that I'm already upset with you yet you got yourself drunk.

I'm awake waiting for you to reply me yet you are ignoring me.

This is stupid, I swear I will make you pay back for what you have done to me tonight.

But what is stupid is I'm still worry for you.

I'm a fool that afraid to lose you.

I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you

And I hate myself for wasting my tears for you.

I hate myself for acting like this. I hate myself for depending too much on you. I hate myself for thinking that I can't live without you. I hate myself for being like this when you are enjoying your time now.

For the first time, I really hate myself for loving you.

If only I got the power to make time stop.........

2011-07-13T21:00:00.000-07:00

Have you ever fear of losing what you love?

I'm always having this fear, maybe it's because I tend to always lose what I love.

I tried my best to forget about the past, but after some times, it will sure come back and haunt me.

why why why why why why :(

I feel so stupid, like a loser. Does the problem lies on me? Or it just meant to be this way.

SIGH. DONT THINK SO MUCH BRENDA!!!!

...........I want time to stop here and it'll be on replay.

paranoidgirl92

2011-06-03T21:44:00.000-07:00

Don't even know what I'm thinking, what I want and why am I doing this.

Someone tell me? :( I guess nobody can.

2011-05-10T01:07:00.000-07:00

非常幸福的我

谢谢你, (:

Life is such a joke.

2011-05-03T22:24:00.000-07:00

How much I wish to vent it out, I can't seem to type it out.

Pissed, but who to be pissed at?

I don't know.

I would just keep smiling so I don't need to explain why I'm not okay.

Choices.

2011-03-25T23:42:00.000-07:00

Have you ever thought of the different between these two choices?

1st: You want to because you need to,

2nd: You need to because you want to.

Sometime, people are confused of whether they need to or they want to and I was one of them.

Why are we confused? It is because of the reasons behind it.

People choose because they want to be happier. But is that what you really want?

But whatever is it, do not regret with what you had chosen.

It is not easy to get over regrets. Maybe you will never get over it too.

Yes, emotional again. Goodnight my dearest readers.

I need energy for this weekend.

BLISSFUL LIFE.

2011-03-22T00:37:00.000-07:00

HELLO PEOPLE.

I'm blogging because I got nothing while waiting for my freaking thick hair to dry!

MY INTERNSHIP HAD FINALLY COME TO AN END.

Freaking happy, but I'm extending earning more money to SAVE. Ya right, save.

Been spending and spending and spending, just by going to Disney On Ice, made me spend ard $100? Tickets plus all the cute cups they selling. I can't resist not to buy!

Just when I got the mood to blog, my laptop want to die on me, and I'm lazy to get my charger, because once I charged my laptop means watching of gossip girl = no sleep =DARK EYE CIRCLES.

SO I SHALL GET TO SLEEP NOW. GOODNIGHT PEOPLE.

I will update my blog often, I promise but I bet nobody look at my blog.

ROFL.

2011-02-11T23:20:00.000-08:00

HELLO HELLO HELLO

It had been such a long time, long time no see, BLOG.

* Acting Crazy *

I had changed my blog song to a song that I LOVE currently. It's on replay in my ears.

I LOVE THE LYRICS. This is the song that motivate me in the first place to be brave too.

" 我们都怕痛但又好想试着牵手

两颗心隐藏在背后不敢承诺

不想再难过丢弃回忆重新来过

让我永远牵着你把手给我"

Time flies so fast, too fast. My attachment is ending soon. Yes, my 6 months attachment is actually ending soon. To think that I keep whining and whining about it. Now, I'm left with no more than 5 weeks. And it scare the hell out of me because I'm going to be a year 3 student. And I got no goals, no clear future of what to do. I really need to start thinking and planning. :( I don't want to grow up. I want to be little girl, can?

Suddenly, I miss Langkawi, miss that place, miss those fun, miss the sun, miss the sea, miss those water sport. HAHA I was browsing through the photos, then came across the pictures we took there, then got this feeling. I WANT TO GO ON A VACATION, PRETTY PLEASE.

I JUST GO AND DREAM ABOUT IT NOW, GOODNIGHT.

HAHA. I just want to end this post now. Becauseeeeeeeeee baby boy just texted me. I'm busy already. BYE BYE.

Time wouldn't rewind.

2010-12-26T17:41:00.000-08:00

Well, another christmas had passed. And new year is coming yet again.

Isn't everything happen so fast. This few months is a blast, being super busy, like so not me.

Finally spending a day at home, watching gossip girl and here, blogging.

So many things on my mind for this past week. Woah, had a hard time figuring out what was best.

But I got my answer, somehow or rather.

Tomorrow work again, 3 more months to go. Yay!

I am going back to gossip girl now. Heheh.

Miss love lots, xoxo.

I miss you, I really do.

2010-11-28T20:42:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry :(

I'm having the feeling of you don't want me anymore after you telling me all that.

Felt that I'm just a trouble to you, hai. I didn't mean to complain.

I'm feel so sad that we are beginning to drift apart. You seem like a stranger to me.

Feel like going away far far away. As usual, I want to run away.

Hope it will get better, I don't know why but I'm looking forward to work tmr.

It will prevent me from thinking too much since I'm a super free girl.

Take care, people :\

I'm not as strong as you think.

2010-11-04T01:21:00.000-07:00

It ends when either side decided to give up.

Nothing last forever, I know. But somehow, I hope what I'm feeling now will never change.

Are we strong enough to not to change?

I guess me and you wouldn't know the answer.

Life's fragile.

A second ago, you may be breathing. A minute later, you may not be breathing anymore.

You always hear people saying things like live your life to the fullest, this and that.

But how are we going to live to the fullest? How does it feels to live it to the fullest, I wondered.

Everybody is doing the same things, working hard to get into good school, working hard to get promoted, working hard to earn money, to earn the status/ title.

Does this count as living life to the fullest? I'm not really sure whether it is.

I need a break from work. It is breaking me apart.

Today, I answer my house intercom system like how I answer my company phone.

That is how work stuck to me every single day, so irritated.

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhh, short getaway this weekend.

I'm going to enjoy and relax this weekend.

But I miss baby boy so much too, I don't know how long will it continue, but apparently it seem like one year, we will meeting each other during the weekend only since when my itp ends, his itp starts and the best thing is it is also 6 months, ohmygod.

:( Are we strong enough to overcome? Or are we going to drift apart sooner or later like everybody else?

The best thing to do is not to think about it since I type it out here, I would not think.

Thinking kills sometime, you know.

Goodnight people, meeting the girls tmr!

Yay, so long so long since we met up! Heheheheheh.

I'm eighteen, finally.

2010-10-21T01:21:00.000-07:00

看你傻笑着, 握住我的手,

梦希望没有尽头, 我们走到这就好,
因为我不想太快走完这幸福.

It had been so long since I updated my blog.

Lots and lots of things happened, and recently I just turned eighteen years old. I had a wonderful celebration, both with the girls, him and the clique.

It took me thinking about the difference between one year ago and one year later.

One year ago, I rmb I was in my misery world, thinking about why didn’t you rmb my birthday, why didn’t you wish me happy birthday. I knew you forgotten me at that instant, that got me super depressed for a moment until I met him.

I enjoyed my birthday with you a lot. I know you will be seeing this post as you are fan of my blog.

Thanks and ily, baby boy.

I hate itp, miss school. Can the six months just pass quickly? HAI. I'm so afraid to miss out things that I'm suppose to do, cannot afford to do any mistakes. Thus, make me super stressed.

Tonight, I felt so childish. I shouldn’t had tweet it and then you wont come back online just to make me feel happy. Haiiiii, in the end felt guilty. Sorry, :(

Sometime, I felt that I'm such a loser.

:( Although I felt that I'm just finding problems for myself.

In such a short time, I become so happy. So afraid that the happiness will be gone as fast as it comes.

The more I fall, the more I'm afraid. I don't want fear to overtake my brain.

But sometime, it just overtake.

Guess that's me, being stupid.

Goodnight, people.

Sleep the troubles away.

I hope the cargoes will get to Maersk Newton tonight smoothly if not I will be in trouble tmr!

I hope we wouldn't drift apart, seriously.

2010-09-30T22:31:00.000-07:00

从前我太适应悲伤, 你的出现在无意中,
却深深撼动我., 一起走着没说什么,
心是满足的.

♥ Baby you're the best I ever had.

2010-09-26T17:38:00.000-07:00

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH,

WHY TMR MONDAY?

WHY WEEKEND CANNOT BE 5 DAYS? THEN WEEKDAY 2 DAYS?

TELL ME WHY.

I DON'T WANT TO GO TO WORK.

Okay, should stop this. No matter what, tmr still must go to work.

I'm starting to miss school a lot. I miss the three girls, miss the time we always play in class.

Endure it, another 25 more weeks and I'm done with.

I'm excited for tonight F1 race. Hope Sebastian Vettel will win first place tonight.

Wohooooooooooo, gooodbye!

If I let you go.

2010-09-12T04:16:00.000-07:00

Don't want to regret about whatever decision I made.

But sadly, I always took the easy the way out.

Just that somebody to love.

2010-09-04T00:07:00.000-07:00

Don't think about ending, it wouldn't end.

FINALLY I'M DONE WITH MY FIVE PAPERS!

No more studying for the next 6 months. Time to be dogs for the companies that we going to have internship with. I'm not really looking forward, sian ttm. MY HOLIDAY ALL GONE.

But I shall not think too much and enjoy my 2 weeks of break naow!

Tmr, weekend trip. Yay, meaning gain weight, meaning more spare tyre.

Omgzzz, come back then jian fei lahz, shall enjoy myself although I will miss that silly boy that I love to disturb, hehehehe.

I SHALL SLEEP NAOW, SUPER LONG TIME DON'T HAVE THOSE LONG GOOD SLEEP.

Goooooodnight, peopleeeeeeeee!

Is there something missing in us?

2010-08-21T22:10:00.000-07:00

It's like catching the lightning the chances of finding someone like you.

It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do.

And with every step together, we just keep on getting better, better, better, better...

2010-08-20T14:22:00.000-07:00

OH MY GOD, THE WEATHER IS MAKING ME FEEEEEEL LIKE DOING NOTHING AT ALL.

One more week to exam, panic mode.

I hope what I read will auto come out when I see the papers, pray hard.

I NEED TO GLUE MY ASS TO THE SEAT AND FINISH UP MY LAWS PROJECT.

Today, I am going to finish it, byeeeeeeeeeeeeee peeople.

2010-08-10T21:41:00.000-07:00

What's the point of hanging on now when you know what will happen in the end?

2010-08-08T21:23:00.000-07:00

Your words put me in a dilemma.

♥ 最幸福的事

2010-08-04T21:14:00.000-07:00

我最幸福的事，当过你的天使。

最幸福的事，吹蜡烛时你总为我许愿的手势,

为挚爱的人在左边心口保留位置是，最幸福的事。

想得起的事，那天和你傻笑着认识是最幸福的事。

2010-07-30T22:12:00.000-07:00

How if the one who make you stop crying suddenly being the one who make you cry?

I'm falling deeper and deeper for you.

2010-07-28T21:07:00.000-07:00

It takes courage to love someone wholeheartedly.

Because you are afraid that that someone will give up suddenly.

And you will be back at square one.

IM STUDYING FOR STATS LAB TEST AND I TELL YOU IT SUCKS!

HAI. Hope I will get everything right soon.

SOMEHOW, I know I will get it right. Heheheheheh.

I should have thought of his feelings too. I'm always thinking about myself, how I'm afraid to get hurt.

I'm not going to be afraid, don't know say how many thousand times but yeah,

NOT GOING TO BE AFRAID.

Today, I came across some things that change my view of you. Now you made me feel like you are the petty person, just because of that, it can ruin our friendship. You words are fucking fake.

When I see that, I wasn't angry, I was disappointed in you.

To think that you are still my friend, when you freaking hate me that much.

I'm speechless, okay.

GOODNIGHT PEOPLE, XOXO

How long can happiness last?

2010-07-14T20:54:00.000-07:00

LIFE’S GREAT, with him, the girls and the clique.

I’m trying to study hard in school.

I’m suppose to have study time naow, yet I got the blogging mood so shall post today!

I LOVE TO LIM KOPI WITH THE GIRLS, LAZING OUR AFTERNOON AWAY.

I think I passed the nua-ness to them. Oppps! But it’s relaxing this way okay. Talk about our troubles, our childhood, shooting one another and jokes in our own world. I really love it.

Oh yes, going out with clique is always full of laughter. But we are all too busy to meet up often which is kind of sad. I’m sure there will be many more meet up to go. Heheheheh.

Today went to have girls talk with debbielow. (: Although she damn guailan, but I love her for that! I had funnnnnnnnn, and also saying out things that I normally wouldn’t say. But raking up the past make me think again, oh man. I HATE IT. Whenever I thought about how much pain it caused me when you left me. I’m afraid to open up, really. I couldn’t believe the love between us can be so fragile. When you moved on a year ago, I was crushed, and my heart was locked up.

Because I didn’t have the courage to face it again. The pain after a heartbreak is too much to handle.

And now it is not an easy thing to open up again.

Sometime, I will think whether will you be sick and tired of waiting for my response. Sometime, I will think of letting you go to make it easier for you. Sometime, I will think if one day you were to do the same thing to me like him, will I survive?

Thinking too much isn’t healthy, but I still think a lot. SIGH, I hate myself for being like this too. :(

I hope I didn’t see what I saw this afternoon, it make me think whether you had really let her go? Or you are just letting her go because you didn’t have any other choices.

HAI, Have a little faith in things, BEN-DA OUCH!

I HATE THE YOU NOW.

I'm done venting my thoughts here, I will come back soooon.

XOXO.

2010-07-06T21:40:00.000-07:00

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength,

while loving someone deeply gives you courage.

2010-07-05T01:06:00.000-07:00

Sometime, the past become a barrier to the present.

HEHEHEH.

2010-06-29T21:17:00.000-07:00

School had started, with the results coming back.

HAI, this is the result of not working hard.

I can only say that my result keep going down down down like mad, I'm going to start study real hard alr. No way my GPA is to go down, it is going to be up.

Before I met him, I always choose to love than to be loved.

And it always ended up with me having a broken heart.

After a few times of this experience, I choose to run away from relationships.

But he kind of made me change my mindset. The feeling of being loved can be wonderful too, but still, sometime you will worry that you will hurt him at the end of the day.

But running away isn't a solution. Everyone deserves a chance, I deserves a chance to find true love too.

I don't want to be like what my brother says,

he told me this " JIE, I think you 80 years old, the heart also won't open, TSK" Hahahah, I will prove him wrong.

Finally, I can bring myself to post with some happiness feeling.

Heheheheee.

I feel like a retard nowadays!

And lightning don't strike the same place twice.

2010-06-23T03:12:00.000-07:00

When you look back, you will see that we had missed out lots of chances and the worst thing is when you miss your chance, you will not be able to catch it back.

Yes, I'm back happier, but sometime my mind will go haywire.
Hahahah. Well, time will heal everything, I believe.

I'm enjoying swimming every now and then. Firstly, keep me in shape. Secondly, make me forget about everything and just swim. Lastly, my tanned skin (Y)

WHY CAN'T MY HEART BE OPEN, WHERE IS THE DAMN KEY.
I NEED TO FIND IT.
Im afraid of hurting you, so I stay a distance from you.
Im afraid to fall and get left behind again.
Im a coward, I know.

XOXO, nights.

~~I have tried to forget, get you out of my head but the memories won't fade.~~
~~I can run and hide from this feeling inside but the pain won't go away.~~

Your words put a smile on my face.

2010-06-15T21:31:00.000-07:00

I'm waiting for you, here.

WILL BE GOING OFF FOR 4 DAYS, DON'T MISS ME BUT I WILL MISS YOU.

MUHAHAHA.

Zooooo trip was fun with them! Although I'm not feeling that well, damn it. But still enjoyed it.

THE SAD PART IS I BOUGHT MY POLAROID CAMERA WITHOUT TAKING ANY.

T_T

Hmmm, looking forward to picnic, sentosa and baking session when I'm backkkkkkkkkkk. And also project that needed to be finish up must be done by next week.

I will come back and start afresh, I promise,

XOXOXOXO.

Im leaving the past behind, once again.

2010-06-14T15:02:00.000-07:00

It's getting better, with the support of my girls.

I appreciate their long and naggy messages, their patient toward me as I am a very stubborn person!

Thanks, GIRLS. I love you all, so cheesy! Hahah.

Hmmmm, exams are over, holiday came at last, time is passing so fast.

I can't catch up with it. When I got nothing to do, I will think of the future, what am I going to do when I'm out of poly? Pursue my degree which means oversea study? Or just with a diploma and just go and start working? And when I start to think about all this problem, I will feeel so frustrated. Daddy says it's normal to feeel lost and he also told me that he was like this when he is young. Hahah.

I shall decide later on, the thing to do now is to keep up my gpa but I think this sem, I will do badly for my papers!

SIGH, I must buck up already! :(

Tmr, will be zoo with the girls! I'm excited, to see the animals! It had been a year plus since I last went to the zooo, with Chloe and Yiwei. Hope it doesn't rain like the last time I went if not I will @#$#@!#$.

Then wednesday, I will be taking a breakkkkkk, from busy lifestyle and go into vacation mood.

Forget the saddness, and come back fresh, with no more pain.

I'm looking forward to the new me, are you all too?

:) But please don't miss me! I don't want to sneeze all the time there.

I'm not ready for anything, I know. I'm a coward, really.

Because of you.

2010-06-09T23:14:00.000-07:00

Sometime, I wanted to move on.

Sometime, I felt that I can't, something is pulling me back.

I don't know what is pulling me back.

I know you are not coming back anymore.

So what's exactly is the problem?

I want to know too.

2010-06-06T10:26:00.000-07:00

Love seem far away.

I'm stepping out of it, because im always friends with sorrow.

I think I have deserted my heart somewhere on the way, because I don't want feel the pain ever.

Stop coming back and think you can undone everything you had done.

I do not wish to hurt, really.

2010-06-04T16:57:00.000-07:00

Omg! Five papers to study for, I really like dying manzxzx!

Tsk, I'm really going to start study after this post, really!

After the five papers, Im going to enjoy myself to the max, yay!

I can't wait for the holiday to comeeeeeeeeeee.

All this studying really tiring me out :(

I feel so old, I want to go out and play.

I shall end here.

BYE.

0 DOWN, 5 MORE TO GO.

2010-06-03T12:35:00.000-07:00

I have got no courage to love.

2010-06-01T21:42:00.000-07:00

我是喜欢你的，但你不会在乎吧。

2010-05-30T23:50:00.000-07:00

I'm losing hopes, yes I am.

But it's okay, the lower the hope, the lesser the disappointment I will feel.

11:11 I made a wish just now!

I HATE THE NIGHT NOW.

2010-05-30T00:51:00.000-07:00

I should be happy, I know.

Yet, I'm feeling rather miserable when the night arrive.

And I hate the me now.

Out of the blue, I thought of him today. I thought about how is he, is he doing fine and blah blah blah. I kept my feelings to myself, but deep down I know I do miss him.
But it is the past, I missed my chance, he had moved on and I had moved on too.

There is people asking me, why are you carrying a torch to someone you don't know?

This type of questions questioned me about my feelings for him. Is it something real, or because I just want to live in my own bloody world? It would make me think whether my feeling for him are unreal. Those questions really sucks. Do you really need to know that person well to fall for him? Do we needs reasons to fall for that particular person?

I always thought that there are no reasons in liking particular someone. I thought it was the first feeling you have for him. And when those feeling come, you will feel it instantly.

Maybe that is some bullshit fairytale theory.

:( I wish to know the answer too.

I am studying studying studying now.

And it's sucks.

I REALLY WANTED TO DO IT.

2010-05-26T22:42:00.000-07:00

I feeeeeeel like shit today.

I got face problem today.

I cannot believe that it can affect me so much.

I feel that my effort had went down the drain.

I'm mentally tired.

Maybe, I should just give up.

Can you feeeeeel my heartbeat?

2010-05-25T21:50:00.000-07:00

Today, I finally took all my courage up to speak to you.

And yay!

(: Smiling all the way homeeeeeeeeee.

I must be mad.

Guess I'm wishing my life away with these things I'll never say.

2010-05-19T15:57:00.000-07:00

The pieces of my heart is waiting for you.

It's been ages since I updated my blog. I'm freaking lazy and I do not have the mood to post anything.

But today I will be updating, yay, when I'm suppose to be doing my tutorials. I will do after this post, yeah.

Hmmm, lots of things happened, where should I start from, I do not know too.

Sometime, I can't help but to think life is not as simple as what I thought.

Why didn't I learn my lesson ever since the last time, not to fall for anyone that you don't know at all, it'll hurt only yourself, but still, I made this mistake, yet again.

I'm a stubborn girl, but I will stop falling deeper because up to now, it's seem that I'll be hurting myself yet again. I'm tired of loving one that wouldn't return my love, why am I always the unlucky one? Why am I always falling for the wrong person, I must be blind or what. :(

I'm sure I'm blind, hahah.

Side-tracked to youtube, damn it. I'm going to do my tutorial alr, hope so.

That's this song that are so meant for me now. My feelings, everything.

These Things I'll Never Say- Avril Lavigne

It don't do me any good, i't just a waste of time.

What use is it to you, what's on my mind.

If anin't coming out, we're not going anywhere.

So, why can't I just tell you that I care,

Because I'm feeling nervous, trying to be perfect.

Because I know you are worth it.

I will stop here, will update again soon.

2010-05-05T21:54:00.000-07:00

I'm smiling but the tears are falling.

2010-04-21T20:52:00.000-07:00

It's funny how girls are able to express their feelings so readily to the person they like.

It funny how girls can get so crazy over a guy.

It's funny how girls can go so upset over a guy.

It's funny, really.

I couldn't figure out why too. Can anyone figure out?

SCHOOL IS BORING TTM.

I really hope to adapt to school life soooon.

I won't fall for you.

YES, I won't.

Stronger than yesterday (:

2010-04-15T15:44:00.000-07:00

I HAD FUN THE PAST FEW DAYS.

Chalet with poly mates! I kinda miss them though now. Hahahah.

I got the feeling of wanting to go to school but also don't want to go to school because of the timing.

Timetable suck suck suck suck suck :(

4 out of 5 days 8am! ~~How many lesson should I skip?~~ AHHHHHHHH.

I will not skip morning classes x1000

Hahahah. I won't lah, I work harder and not slack like last term.

Time past so fast and I can't keep up to it. HAI~

Why am I going to do when I'm out of poly? Can the time just past slower? I'm like lost in a road junction.

Hopefully, I will know what to do soooon.

I'M SO GOING TO STUDY HARD. NO MORE SLACKING, BRENDA AU!

I'm so going to be strong.
When the clock strike 12 midnight on 13April2010.
I had decided to give up totally.

(: No more of this anymore. I had enough.
Once, twice, thrice. No more, I am not going to give my heart to anyone anymore.

2010-04-09T23:30:00.000-07:00

等待一件很累的事，我也那么想了。

我应该这么做呢?

GET OVER IT, PLEASE.

2010-02-06T15:31:00.000-08:00

It had become almost painful to think about you.

There is once when you say that things that I like can change so easily.

I hope I am this type of person. Then I wouldn't need to in this state already.

Sometime, I thought to myself. What if we can wind up the time and go back to the first day I saw you? Will the ending still be like this?

Hah. Useless thoughts. Nothing will ever be the same anymore.

I realised I cannot bring myself to smile at you anymore.

Exams are next week, I'm studying now. Going to finish Economics modules already. Yay, after next week, school ends! I can rest from everything. Hah. I'm tired, seriously.

Feelings that are kept deep down.

2010-01-24T20:35:00.000-08:00

2AM.

Even if I die, I can't send you away.

JUNGJINWOON, JOKOWN, LEECHANGMIN, IMSEULONG.

♥

Please stop it, it's saddening.

2010-01-22T11:56:00.000-08:00

What's up with those people that keep releasing fake rumor about Jay returning or not returning?

A bunch of pisser manxzx.

I miss Park Jaebeom so much.

Emptiness.

2010-01-18T23:38:00.000-08:00

I'm still feeling the pain, which suck totally.

I realised we are not like last time anymore.

I don't believe in it anymore.

2010-01-17T17:28:00.000-08:00

This is my first post of the year!

Omg, so late. Didn't have the time and also don't have the mood.

Hahaha. EXCUSES, I know.

But seem like nobody come to my blog anyway.

It's okay, it's better this way because I don't post much.

Hmmm, school started for a few weeks alr, first exam coming in 2 weeks time but I have not start studying. So much things to study yet I'm still slacking like I have the power to control time.

Somehow, I lose my directions in life, I do not know where to go, what to do and I'm just feeling so empty. I do not know why I'm feeling like this. For that certain period of time, all thanks to the joys my family bring, I slowly walk out of the darkness. But at that time, my family really were there with me, encouraging me to move on and being in the family made me feel lucky, lucky to have them with me. I'm so thankful to have them.

I love my mummy, daddy, belinda baby and ben pisser. Without them, I really don't know I will be able to cope anot, seriously.

Hmmm, 2010 is a brand new year. A brand new start. Few wishes to start off with.

Me and my family and my friends healthy and happy.
Do not skip too much lesson in school.
Work hard for my second half of year one, GPA cannot drop.
Spend more time with my clique.
Have more oversea trips with my family. ^^
Learn driving this year!

Cannot think of anymore, and this year I'm going to be eighteen. So fast, eighteen years of my life had passed! And I still haven do anything that I'm proud of myself.
Feel so old too! Don't want to grow up!
Okay till here, I'll be back soon.
Take care, bye!

Just keep going forward.

2009-12-25T20:42:00.000-08:00

Meeerrrrrry Christmas.

I hope santa will give me back my pink grandpa.

Jay Park, come back soooooooooooooooon.

Leaving everything behind.

2009-12-12T20:23:00.000-08:00

LANGKAWI, HERE I COME!

Miss me, people.

I will go out with you guys when I'm back, my friends.

Goodnight.

(: I've enough.

2009-12-09T17:24:00.000-08:00

2 more days till exams end. 3 more papers.

Goodbye.

Studying sucks, big time.

2009-12-05T23:00:00.000-08:00

我不是你想像那麼勇敢多想讓你保護能流淚一場

讓我放下武裝像個孩子一樣單純的把愛情放在你心上

每個人都有夢

幸福總站在最遠方心中越是渴望越是不敢伸手擁抱

誰的心是我最後一站我強問我自己

現在還沒有個答案

The weather make people feel sleepy.

2009-11-27T18:15:00.000-08:00

When I'm tired, I will think of Jay (:

I'm studying super hard now and I tell you, CARGO HANDLING SUCKS.
Must rmb so many things. AHHHHHHHHHH.
Ytd night was great. Good dinner and nice catching up.
Miss you guys, will meet up soon after exams.

Till here, people.
Study hard and take careeeeeeeeeee.

Loves,
Brenda.

" It's 1:59pm, I'm waiting for 2PM! Park Jay come back as soon as you are ready. I'm waiting for you ♥ "

EDITED@1.15am.

OMG. 1.13am now, and I'm still awake. Hahah. Just want to say BEAST'S LEADER DOOJOON IS BACK ON MUSIC BANK. *yay* Luckily it was just rumor that he withdraw from the group if not I will be super mad at him. ^^

FIGHTING BEAST AND of course, 2PM. ♥ Goodnight, people~

Love is simple.

2009-11-25T23:02:00.000-08:00

Just finished watching 桃花小妹, *sigh* Give me a 辰亦儒, can?
Went to have lunch today with Eve, Teng Hao and Kah Wee. Oh ya, then Jasmine, Eve's friend came later on too.
Hmmm, nice food and good conversation. Simple as that.

Exam is coming soon. Studying not as much as I should be doing. Project not yet done. And problems come one by one. I'm tired, but I don't like to share with people my problem so I shall vent it by writing down here. After writing down what is in my heart, I will always feel better.

This few days, I keep thinking abt the definition of love. What is love suppose to be like? How will you feel when you are in love? What do you all think?
To me, love is simple, not complicated. Because if it's complicated, it will be tiring and eventually you will give up and feel hurt. But after the period of pain, when you think back, your heart will not feel the pain anymore because time will help to overcome everything.
I may like you but if I do not have the courage, in the end I'll lose out. And it always happen to me. This make me doubt about my so called fairytale love-like theory that I once believe.
Hahah. How naive of me to believe abt this theory. But till now, I still want to believe this theory. When I found the right one, it'll eventually be mine.
No rush, good thing are meant to be wait. (:

Another thing is tmr will be clique dinner at airport. *yay!* So long I didnt see them so I miss them a lot. ^^

*Sigh* I feel pretty pathetic for sending that text. I send that text to you is because I care for you but you didn't reply me. I send that purely as a friend but you doesn't even treat me as a friend. I don't know what to feel. Maybe it's not that big a deal. Forget it.

Rest early, people. Take care and love you guys.

Goodnight,
Brenda.

" 一顆心呼喚另一顆的声音, 你聆听到我的心了吗? "

2009-11-20T22:05:00.000-08:00

MY LAPTOP WALLPAPER (:

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, peeps!

The weather is sooooooooo cold. And the weather made people feeeeeel so alone. I'm currently half studying my gems, CALENDARS AND ASTRONOMY and half typing and posting here.

A song to describe the weather.

下雨天 sang by 梁心頤 (:

Keep listening to this song. Hmmm. Lyrics of this song are beautiful tooooo. Awww.

Part of the lyrics hereeeeeeee~

下雨天了怎麼辦我好想你
我不敢打給你我找不到原因

為什麼失眠的聲音變得好熟悉

沈默的場景做你的代替陪我等雨停

期待讓人越來越沉溺

誰和我一樣等不到他的誰

愛上你我總在學會寂寞的滋味

一個人撐傘一個人擦淚一個人好累

怎樣的雨怎樣的夜怎樣的我能讓你更想念

雨要多大天要多黑才能夠有你的體貼

其實沒有我你分不出哪些差別結局還能多明顯

別說你會難過別說你想改變

被愛的人不用道歉

Omg. Tue test on calendars. *pray hard that it is based on common sense*

Haha. Till hereeeeeeeee. I'm going back to study calendars and then do the practice papers then the end for this module!

Goodbye people.

XOXOXO,

Brenda.

" Falling in love is awfully simple, but falling out of love is simply awful. "

(: Sweeeeeeeeet.

2009-11-17T22:55:00.000-08:00

Jay, Come backzxzxz.

I'm starting to study alr! *CLAPS & ROARS*AND I'm having a sore throat but my brother is tempting me with potato chips. OMG. And I ate it, of course. Lol. -.-
I don't know what to post alr. But I want to say let me stay in my own world so we can have a fairytale like story. (:

Goodnight people.

Loves,
Brenda.

"If there is too much beautiful memories, I'm afraid it will take a longer time to erase everything from my heart."

2PM comeback @ MusicBank. JIANG

2009-11-13T23:42:00.000-08:00

OMG. I LOVE THEM, but my dear jay is missing. :(

Hmmmm. I just watched their comeback on Music Bank. Of course! They didn't disappoint me. Their dance moves melt my heart. So hot, esp Junsu. But when will jay be back with them? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Please come back soooooooon. I miss you, you know? I guess Jay will be sneezing everyday, every mins, every secs since everyone is missing him so much. * Laugh Out Loud*

Today, I had a wonderful day. I woke up pretty late, and so thinking that I couldn't make it for the first lesson, I decided to skip it, went to collect my pay from 2 places, i walk from bugis to cityhall, super tired. Then walked super fast because eve was waiting for me at dover. LOL. I made her waited for me so long. *SORRY* Hahah. And the first thing she do when she saw me is giving me a middle finger. LOL.

Then met up with tenghao, take the train to causeway, was super hungry. We had our lunch at swensen, *OMG* Yummmy. So super full after finishing everything on the table except fries. HAHA. Then we went to purchase movie tickets for 2012. Went acrade to play since there is so much time left. HAHA. Funny thing is TONG TONG thought we at JP, he go there find us. HAHAHA. After that met up with Alvin and Zac and AhTong then we went to watch 2012. I cried >.< *OMG, the pilot that died is super cute although he got funny accent*
Then went for ice cream session with Eve, Tenghao and Alvin. *Thanks Eve for the treat!*
After that, we went off. * End of the wonderful day! *

Super pissed off with blogger for don't know what stupid reason, made me lose the last part of my post that I typed out just now and super lazy to type it back so too bad. Lol.

Till here people and have a good weekend.
And I need to study very soon to maintain my gpa. *hopefully*

XOXOXO,
Brenda.

"Sometimes your nearness takes my breath away; and all the things I want to say can find no voice. Then, in silence, I can only hope my eyes will speak my heart."

Can you feel my heartbeat?

2009-11-12T00:07:00.000-08:00

Finally. Long waited music video came out. As usual, they are super my type of guys. But it's lack of something, Park Jaebeom presence. :( I want him inside, he make the group look more powerful since his popping is super attractive to my eyes. ^^
I seriously hope he will be back. I miss him badly.
*sigh* I'm moody now, super. ZZZZ

Goodnight, people.

Again and Again,
Brenda.
I'll not go anymore deeper because I know it's impossible.

(:

2009-11-10T23:58:00.000-08:00

"You will move on when your heart finally understands that there is no turning back."

I was crazy about you.

2009-11-08T22:20:00.000-08:00

JAY PARK ^^ SO CUTE!

MY BLOG SONG IS THE NEW 2PM SONG, 'I'm crazy about you'!
I hear it for like a thousand times alr and I simply loveeeeee it although without Jay is something to be sad of alot. I thought he will be back but now my hope of him coming back for 2pm first album are smashed when I see the album jacket without him. :( I want him backkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk, PLEASE.

The lyrics of the song are super sad.
She's gone, gone
She's gone, gone
She's gone, gone
She's gone, gone

You're standing up now, you throw aside my hands.
The words 'I love you' are still caught in my throat, I didn't even have a chance to greet you yet.
As I see your back turned towards me, the whole world feels like it's breaking down.
It's all breaking down.
All those days we loved, I was crazy for you.
I didn't even have a chance to say that, and I let you go.
She's getting further away.
Love can't be like this to me.
It's too hard, I'm tired, eventually I just let go.
The words "If you really loved me, you'd let me go"
I don't hear any of it.
The image of your back towards me is engraved into my eyes, It's all breaking down.
All those days we loved, I was crazy for you.
I didn't even have a chance to say that, and I let you go.
She's getting further away.
Love can't be like this to me.
{RAP}
I couldn't even say that you can't leave.
All I am is a fool that can only watch you leave.
Going crazier day by day, never being able to forget you.
I can't handle myself, I was crazy for you, I was crazy for you.
I didn't even have a chance to say that and I let you go.
She's getting further away.
Love can't be like this to me.

I just came back from a weekend trip from malacca. It sure had enlighten up my mood. But I don't want to come back to the reality, to face the truth. I want to live in my own world. It'll be better, I told myself. But I know deep down, it hasn't gotten better. After that night, you disappeared into the thin air. And after today, I'm telling myself I'll be strong and forget about everything. I do not want to see you anymore. I do not want to find you anymore. I do not want to miss you anymore. I do not want to go crazy about you anymore.
The end but will I be able to do it, me, myself not sure too.

Hahaha.
Okay, I shall post some pictures when my bro upload the photos from the camera uh.
I became tanned again!
YAY! So happy.
I don't want to go to school tmr. It is a torture to go to school. Got meeting after school, got company meeting for Annual Dance and Dinner after that, sure very late come back. :(
SO SAD. SO VERY SAD.
Haha.

Shall end hereeeee. Can't wait for 2PM to make comeback on Inkigayo next week!
Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Loves,
BRENDA.

"We were given two hands to hold, two legs to walk, two eyes to see, two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else, for us to find."

Finally, second week of school had passed.

2009-10-30T22:27:00.000-07:00

My actions are just helping me to escape from the reality.
Who is going to help me get back to the right track of life.
I wonder.
Goodnight, People.

Emotionally Tired,
Brenda.

"A failing love is like desperately hanging on to something precious; not wanting to give up, but your hands feel the pain. And, when you finally let go, you're free from any pain, but your hands are empty."

PARK JAEBEOM ^^

2009-10-29T21:22:00.000-07:00

OMG. I MUST POST TODAY.
PARK JAEBEOM APPEARED IN MY DREAM LAST NIGHT.
OMG OMG OMG. No wonder, I'm feeling so great today. Hahahah.
Jaebeom, you made my day.
But it is because I missed you too much.
I hope you consider coming back as 2pm leader.
:( Saranghae, Jaebeom.

Lovessssssss,
Brenda.

I can't feel anything, anymore.

2009-10-27T21:42:00.000-07:00

Let start with the post with a song I'm listening to now.

I love Lee Seung Gi.
Listening to him singing Will you marry me. Super super super melt my heart.
Everytime when I hear this song, my tears will be like falling down. The lyrics are so super sincere. (: But the thing is I don't believe in forever. Do you think there will be forever? Hah. Love him, when will find another him? Hah. I want to fall in love. ^^

Another song that I personally like by him.
I think it suit my mood more. Lol.

The lyrics again are super niceeeeeee. His voiceeeeeeee. *sigh* I’m okay, I’ll be. It is not the first, second or third time alr, it’s alright.
Love the lie lie lie lie part, he’s gorgeous in the music video uh.
(:

Hmmm, school sucks. I hate school but I still need to go to school. I hope the long holiday will be here again. I’m waiting patiently. This semester modules are okay but the lecturer cannot make it. Some of them , speak too fast, some speak unclearly, omg want to listen also cannot really understand. And also school is not as fun as last semester, it’s seem to be lacking of something. Like the class have no bonding anymore, that’s what I felt. *Sigh* It’s alright, I’m sure there is many activities coming up soooon. So let wait and seeeee.

Oh ya, my birthday had passssed. I’m seventeeeeeeeeeen. Hehehe. ^^ But I still prefer to be young. Thanks to people who had wished me on that day. I’m thankful to have you people as my friends. Thanks for the presents tooooooo. But don’t know why, I don’t feel the happiness for my birthday this year. But still thank you people for your wishes and presents again.

Hmmm. I had been thinking, am I brave or being stupid to do that. I don’t know but since this is it, I don’t want to think anymore. It’s pain me to see that it had become like this. Haha. Human being are weird, they tend to achieve the impossible, they like to cling on to things that are hard to get. That’s what I think. Haha.
What do you all think? Agreeee?

Hehehe. I miss 2pm, their new album will be out next month. I can’t wait.
I like BEAST, Bad girl. They’re hot, but I don’t really like MBLAQ, they abit 2pm look alike but I don’t want to talk bad abt them la. ^^
BEAST, hehehe. I like!

Down down we gotta get down, down down we gotta get down! (:
I like the first one that sing! ^^
Okay, but I like still like my 2pm moreeeeeeee.
Junhoooooooooooooooooo. (:

Okay till here, I’m going to play café world, my favourite game nowwwwwwwww. ^^
Goodnight people and take careeeeeeee.
(:

XOXO,
Brenda.

That's the last thing I can do.

2009-10-16T15:40:00.000-07:00

I MISS JAEBEOM ALOT.

I MISS 2PM TOOOOO. Dream Season Two, Junho inside, so fit, made me highhhhhhhhhhh!~
Can't wait for their new album to be out!

Super super super busy this two weeks, so no time to post entry for you all to see. Sorry^^ But I'm now here posting alr. Had been working for this two weeks, and fyi I'm working now too but I see too much document alr, so so so so so tired of keying it into the system. Save meeeeeeeeeeee. Hahah. I had beeen missing alot on videosss. But I watch one or two episodes of 1 night 2 days every night and because of them, I slept happily every single night. They are super funnnny. Hehehehe. I'm crazy about those six boyssssss.

EunJiwon, MCMong, LeeSuGeun, LeeSeungGi, KimC and KangHoDong are loved by meeeeeee.

VARIETY SPIRIT, one of their favourite phrases! (: Invented by MCMong.

HAHAHA.

School is starting next weeeeeeeeeeek. Can you all feel my hatred for schoooool? :(
Please don't let the schoool to reopen. Please bombed the schoool away.
LOL. Till here, everyone.

And TMR is OCTOBER BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION with clique.
HAPPY HAPPPY.

xoxoxoxoxoxo,
Brenda.

暧昧让人变得贪心
直到等待失去意义无奈
我和你写不出结局
放遗憾的美丽

-暧昧byRainie Yang.

回憶是最可怕的敵人。

2009-09-29T16:45:00.000-07:00

Whenever I see this video, I feeeel so so sad. But at least I can feel how much fans love him. ^^
Fighting, Park Jaebeom! Saranghae, I love you. *shy* LOL.

Hmmmmmmm, have been busy nowaday, but if you ask me busy with what. I don't know too.
Haha. Busy thinking abt my future, my goals and all sort of thinking. Should I quit poly and change to private school, local or oversea? In this way, I can get a degree after three years than a diploma. But giving up everything in poly? Will I regret it, I'm not so sure myself too.

Anyway went clique chalet and have lots of fun. Hehehe. ^^ I love them! Games, Jokes and Foods. Haha. Have lots of funnnnnnnnn. Having Oct Birthday Babies Birthday Celebration on 17Oct. Can't wait! (: Chloe, please improve on your skills kay. If not pair you up with another lousy one. ^^

Okay. Till here, I'll update soon.

XOXO,
Brenda.

It's all too late now.

2009-09-19T21:42:00.000-07:00

Hey peeeeeeeeps. Here I am, back from somewhereeeeeee, actually nowhereeeeeeeeee. Hahah. Okay, I'm currently rotting at home. And because of that, I will start to reflect on my life. What I found out is this few points. Firstly, I do not have a goal in life. Secondly, I am not putting much effort in studies. Thirdly, I should forget all the unhappy thingsssss.
It had been one week one day since I know about that. At first, I was pretty sad about it at first but in the end, I thought through. What am I to him, to want him to wait for me till I'm ready for relationship? I'm nothing, I realised. He had moved on and I am still there, thinking that time will wait for me. It was not his fault, it was mine, I know. I didn't tell him the reasons because I do not have the courage to but now I don't even think there is a need for him to know. I felt the pain, really, now I know how much pain I caused him. The most I can do now is to let him go and wish him well...
Enough of thoseeeeee.

I'm awaiting for your return, Park Jaebeom.

I missssssssss 2pm, well since all their activities had stop, no more new videos of them. Sad, you knowwwwww. But it's okay, I can use the time to catch up on super junior. Hahah. I feeel sad for Jaebeom, he must be feeeling terrible inside. With all the fans boycotted 2pm, he must had feeel that it is his fault to cause all this unpleasant things to happen. As much as I hope Jaebeom to be back in 2pm, I don't think it is a right thing to boycotted the group. What about the other 6 memebers? They neeed lot of support now and we fans, should support them, I believe Jaebeom wants this too. Let give Jaebeom a rest, when he comes back as solo, support him! I'm waiting for your return, Park Jaebeom. It would be the best if you return to 2pm. (:

Lee Junho of 2pm ^^

Lee Junho is soooooooooooo cute, I want subs for DREAM. He is insideeeeeeee. Heheheeeee. I'm still like Jaebeom, but while he is resting in seattle, I will like Junho in the meantimeeeeee. Hahaha. ^^

Went out with clique few days ago. Hahaha. Have a fun day! It was Benjamin Birthday!
Photos taken belowwwwwwwww.

I lazy upload all the photos here. I uploaded at facebook alr. Hehehe.
Clique chalet is coming in 2 dayssssssss. I can't wait, my lovely friendssssss.
Okay, I'll post till hereeee.
Will be back sooooon. Goodnight.

Lovesssss,
Brenda.

How can Jaebeom leave too? ><

2009-09-08T20:50:00.000-07:00

I love the 2pm with Jay, I'm sure.

I'm back after being missing so long. Don't blame me uh, I don't know what am I suppose to blog. I don't what am I suppose to say. What a sad day for me today. Today, I just know Jaebeom left 2pm just because of what the netizen say about him. I'm angry with the netizien for digging out about the past and comment on him but I'm disappointed of him giving up so fast. 2pm will not be the same without him as the leader. He must be so sad in seattle now. :( I am sad too. For the past few weeks, I thought with Jaebeom around, I wouldnt think about the rest but now he left too, it seem like one by one things are leaving me...

How sad. Yes, I choose to run away from things because I don't have the courage, really I do not have.

But I'm sure I will be fine. I will be.
I'm keeping everything deep down my heart, don't want to rake it up, don't want to hurt anyone.
Some things I just don't know how to say it out loud. :(
Till here, bye.

Loves,
Brenda.

I know I'm running away from it.

2009-08-21T23:22:00.000-07:00

Already Gone- Kelly Clarkson.

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories, they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
Even with our fists held high, yeah
It never would've worked out right, yeah
We were never meant for do or die
I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hurt you
Now I can't stop
I want you to know that it doesn't matter where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone
Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another that doesn't always make you want to cry
Started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so I love you enough to let you go
I want you to know that it doesn't matter where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
and I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone
I'm already gone
Already gone
You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone
Already gone
There's no moving on
So I'm already gone.

Awww, the lyrics made me feel so sad. :(
This few days, keep listening to this song.

Okay, today is the day I have waited for so long alr. No more papers! I'm so happy happy happy! Hahahahahahaha. I cannot use words to express the feeling of mine now. Hmmm, out of the five papers, I only have one paper that I am less confident which is the last paper, navigation safety. *sigh* Hopes I won't get 50 marks again for it. Hahaha. Now, is vacation! But I don't know what to do. Play, enjoy life or find jobs. Two options, but I am lazy lazy lazy but I'm broke broke broke. Hahaha. I'm so lame tonight, but although my mindset is hyper, my body feel like it is going to break down anytime, no matter how much I sleep, I still feel exhausted. Must be something wrong with the head of mine. Lol. Now, I'm catching up with my 1night2days, so funnnnny and I love Eun Jiwon and the mind of his, what he is thinking is so unique. *Laugh Out Loud*
I feel that I'm becoming so emotional. -.- I hope to meet up with my 2 girlfriends soon. I hope to meet up with my clique soon. I hope that polymates will overcome the problem and be like last time. (: Really hope people out there will be living their life to the fullest and not wasting them.
Okay, like I say, emotional. I can't stand myself so I am ending here alr.
Oh ya, Monday out with J and Eve. And J made something for me, so excitied and touched by it.
Goodnight, my loveable readers.

With lots of lovesssss,
Brenda.

I was hoping you will know.

2009-08-16T22:00:00.000-07:00

Eun Jiwon - Adiós ♥

I'm so hooked on One Night Two Days! Wees. And this song was sang by one of the cast inside!
Hahahah. The one with specs. Cute uh.
Why Baby Why~
Lol. I'm suppose to study now. I sneaked out of studying world to come here to post! So I'm going back. Enjoy the video above!

XOXO,
Brenda.

No matter how hard I try, it wouldn't be the same anymore.

2009-08-14T19:58:00.000-07:00

Love is Punishment- K.Will. (Shinning Inheritance)
Perhaps if I have never encountered you, it would have been the best
If I had need been living in another world
If I had need to become strangers in life
It will not have been left with this inflicting pain in my heart
Each day & each day forgetting you
Each day & each day abandoned you
In the midst of my heart deeply concealing something that I cant really openly shout about of my love
It seems all along I have always thought that love was bliss & happiness
Unable to beyond words that love is heavens render punishment
I just have to love you & my heart will shiver & tremble
This is just living by wiping off tears
My mind I have already forgotten you
My speech I have already forgotten you
Occasionally drinking to drunken stupor
But afraid that I will utter my love for you
Really fear thatIt seems all along
I have always thought that love was bliss & happiness
Unable to beyond words that love is heavens render punishment
I just have to love you & my heart will shiver & tremble
This is just living by wiping off tears
Dream will I able to love you?
Crying & weeping to my sleep
Awake, each day return to that of the former
Love is to love you
When you arent around, stealing mutter to say i love you
Afraid that when you heard that, you will run away
Obscure silence inadvertently in loving you

♥Love the drama, the song lyrics and the video too.

I am studying like hell now. My head, eyes and heart are hurting like hell. I'm stressed, will I be able to make it, me myself is not very sure too. Hah. Shall just try my best.
This few days, I realised alot from things that had happened. You will just need to forgive, forget and move on with it. In life, there is no turning back so there is no use regretting too. My head telling me this but I do not know why my heart is hurting like mad. :(
I am just writing my feeling out since there is nothing I can do about it, so there is not a need to ask me what happened ya.
Till here, everyone.

Loves,
Brenda.

It wasn't easy for me too.

2009-08-08T00:44:00.000-07:00

Omg. I love this picture!
Isn't Jaebeom hot? ^^

Hmmm, I am feeling rather bored, doing Accounting Project now so I'm here to post. Hahah. I didn't know is 4pm in the afternoon alr. Wow, time is passing so fast that I got no time to do other things. I want to go out but I'm stuck at home finishing up projects and studying for upcoming exams. *sigh* But I got totally no mood to do anything. I don't why tooooo. I can't wait for vacation to come. But I must buck up for my exams first before enjoying. That's how life is. This few days, feeling rather random but who will be there to listen to me? Everyone seem to have their own troubles and I don't want to add into them anymore. Hmmm, time table for exams are out, 17Aug will be the first paper which is ard less than 10 days before exams are coming. This time round, I got 5 papers to study, wish my luck! And worst of all, the time table is the same again, meaning I will be like having logistic and seamanship exams on the same day, meaning I will rmb logistic but cannot rmb for seamanship, then I will fail again! Shit, then must retake seamanship, then must jump jetty jump again. Oh no, I don't want that to happen. I will kill myself if that happens! No more youtube till after exams for me! I'm like controlling can, the fast few days, I only watch one of their video, the rest were spending on projects. I stayed back for the past few days for projects, and I must say I'm disappointed that most of them didn't even ask how are the project going on and so on. *sigh*
Anyway, I had changed my blog song to 不屑by黃鴻升(小鬼)! It is his new song, hehehe!
Part of the lyrics are here:
事情如果那麽簡單那就好了，
想讓自己不，
瞬間就通通消滅。
人類如果沒有心臟那就好了，
受傷不會流血，悲傷也不會流淚。
不需要有同類傳染頹廢，
不需要愚昧的尊嚴，
不需要去偷竊你的思念，
自我安慰。
就讓我僞裝我嘴角不屑，
讓孤獨乘以更孤獨的兩倍，
允許我保留我最後一點點特權，
赦免我想念你的心碎。
如果我眼神裏閃爍不屑，
可能我心裏一半已經殘廢。
那一半跟著你走遠了的那一天，
這一半漸漸地瓦解。。。
Till here, everyone.
Take care and study hard! Fighting!~

With lots of lovessssss,
Brenda.

断了的弦- 周杰伦

2009-08-07T23:53:00.000-07:00

断了的弦再怎么连,
我的感觉你你已听不见.
你的转变像断掉的弦,
再怎么接应都不对,
你的改变我能够分辨.
我沉默,你的话也不多,
我们之间笑着什么不说.
*sigh*

Goodnight, everyone.

Too late,
Brenda.

Just like this, I'm alr contented.

2009-08-06T23:27:00.000-07:00

Project is killing me, seriously.
Today was actually a bad day for me but now I guess not really alr.
It had been so long...
Hehehe.
I hope I will finish my project soon. After that, I am going to start studying for exams.
Goodnight, my friends. My eyes are seriously closing. Hahah.

Loves,
Brenda.

You aren't the same anymore.

2009-08-05T09:40:00.000-07:00

Jaebeom is loved by me. ♥

I'm in school, just finished my sausage egg muffin meal! So full~
So I guess I will not be eating my lunch. Hahah. Met Joel Low in the morning today!
Hahahah. So long never see until him le! Happppy Happpppy. He grown like taller again. *sigh* Why am I not growing taller? Hahahah.
Okay, till here. Project dicussion, I hate project and I'm abit pissed off by him! -.-
Byeeeeeeeee!

XOXO,
Brenda.
Will the past return? I'm still rmb the first time I met you.
It seem so ytd though. :/

Only you - 2pm!

2009-08-03T23:03:00.000-07:00

TRANSLATION OF THE SONG.
I love the lyrics of this song(:

Only you, if it's not you, I can't be fixed.
I wouldn't be able to breathe again,
It's only you my baby it's only you.

Why can't I let go of the memories that have already ended?
Why do I keep holding onto them alone?
After letting that person left me, go, I live a new life.
Oh~ I know it too, that it's the way it should be, I know it too.

Though I couldn't bring myself to believe it the first month,
After nothing but crying for the second month.
And on the third month, holding onto my whole heart,
I tried to meet other people.
But I couldn't bring myself to smile.

Only you, only you can bring me to life.
I can't stop these tears,
So just come and return to me.
Only you, if it's not you, I can't be fixed.
I can't bring myself to smile again,
it's only you my baby it's only you.

Listen, You were really beautiful. When you smiled, I was blinded by the light.
To that bright smile, I lost track of all thought.
Oh~ miss you baby, I really miss you so much.

No can understand me, and also as of now,
why to this day I still have a deep attachment to you.
Oh~ though they don't get it, you have known it.

Its only you my baby its only you baby,
only you, only you can bring me to life.
I can't stop these tears,
So just come and return to me.
Only you, if it's not you, I can't be fixed.
I can't bring myself to smile again,
it's only you my baby it's only you.

Yo, I tried to forget you but,
no matter how hard I tried, I keep finding myself looking for you.
And even until now, I keep remembering that bright smile.
Isn't it pitiful, how did it come to be this way?
I'm unable to quite forget everything altogether,
There continues to exist an empty spot that refuses to be filled,
It can only be filled by you.

Its only you my baby its only you yeah~
Only you, only you can bring me to life,
I can't stop these tears,
So just come and return to me.
Only you, if it's not you, I can't be fixed.
I can't bring myself to smile again,
it's only you my baby it's only you yeah~

Are you doing okay? I'm not doing well, I need you.

With lots of love,
Brenda.
P.S Jaebeom is the one wearing pink shirt!
XOXO.

Sometime, feelings can be so random.

2009-07-29T23:12:00.000-07:00

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY, LEON TAN ZHONG XI!

I'm super duper tired and full. Just came back from Leon birthday dinner. Actually, I planned not to go one but in the end, I still went because Leon wanted everyone to go badly! :( Hahahah. But I never regret going, ate alot! Hahahah.
Okay, I just wanted to post something while waiting for my hair to dry.
Hmmm, till here, I'm sleeeping sooon.
Goodnight, people!

Loves,
Brenda.
P.S I miss Jaebeom! ^^

Sometime, things just get into your way.

2009-07-27T13:56:00.000-07:00

Jaebeom♥Jaebeom♥Jaebeom♥Jaebeom♥

Hey people!
I'm in school now, having break. I just eaten Macwing set plus lots of junk foods. No wonder, I feeel fat! :( How, how, how. I must start exercising alr. Lol.
Feeel like updating about what I did during the weekend. Hehehe. So here I come!

Saturday, went out with clique to clarke quay to have dinner with them and somehow celebrate kelly birthday. Have fun with them but sadly, Chloe couldn't make it. :( Nvm, I will find time to Airport with her and yiwei. Hahah. Anyway, before meeting kelly, we went to complete kelly photobook, so sweeet la. I also want one, okay. Hahaha. I uploaded some of the pictures we taken below.

Tingting and Me.

Hahah. (:

Girls have power.

In the resturant.

Yiwei and me.

The rest of the pictures are at facebook. Hahah. I'm lazy to upload all here. Reach home past 12plus, walking in my house like walking into forest. Scary, but surprisingly, my parent never say anything at all. Hahahah. Then my cousin came to stay over at my home, talked with her till 2am before sleeping.
Sunday was family day. Went jb to shop and eat alot. Hahahah. Enjoyable, went to giant and swept the whole store home. Now, my cupboard are full of foods! (:

Today, starting of the week alr. I guess I'm starting to study alr since exams are coming in a few weeks time. Sigh. I don't really know how to study though. After that, six weeks of break. *jumping with joy* Okay, I'm writing till here since the next lesson starts alr.

Loves,
Mrs. Park Jaebeom♥
P.S I know I'm pretty mad.

♥ Jaebeom is loved by me!

2009-07-25T15:00:00.000-07:00

Good afternoooon, my friends! What a beautiful Saturday afternoon with the sun shining so brightly!
Hmmm, I am in such a good mood. And most of all, I LOVE JAEBEOM FROM 2PM. Heheheheh.
Like happy only, he speaks english la. I want to fly to korean now now now now now!
Hahahah. Okay, I'm going out with clique to catch up later! I miss them! Hahahah. I'm going to bath and go out sooooon. Seeya guyssssss later.
I'm like offically over that thing alr. Nothing big deal, I am always like this anyway. Hahah.
I want to change my blog song to 2PM Again and Again, see whether I can find the song later anot.
Hmm, till here la.
Gooooodbye!

Take care,
Brenda Love Jaebeom ♥
but when will I be able to meet him?

For you, I'll smile.

2009-07-23T23:10:00.000-07:00

Hey, peepos!
I'm here to update. Hehehehe. But short post, because I'm tired alr. Today, jetty jump was scary. I don't know why since I jumped before but it is still scary. So malu la. Hahahah. Okay, after school went to do project. Sigh~ Then Ruiyong started telling me his big morale stories. Hahah. Made me stress only. Sigh.
Till here, goodnight.

xoxo,
Brenda.

*edited/ I feel bad.

My First Post.

2009-07-22T22:07:00.000-07:00

Heheheh. I'm finally back to blogger after few months using livejournal, reason being I missed having a tagboard. So everybody, look forward for my next post, okay?
I'm so in neeed of sleeep now. Shall sleep soon and there is jetty jump tmr. I'm excited, yet nervous. Omg, wish me luck!
Goodnight, my friends.

Loves,
BRENDA.